All Foods Equal a Certain Number of Burpees!!!

Remember when the US was trying to decide whether we should go metric (e.g., kilograms, liters, kilometers, etc) or stay American with lbs., gallons, miles, etc.  Well we didn't "go metric" but the world either did or already was.  So, what do we do?  Mechanics have two sets of tools (metric and American) or we spend our time converting metric to American or vice versa.  What a nightmare.  Well, when it comes to losing body fat why do we use the intermediate measuring scale of Calories?  Let's just cut to the chase.  If you drink this glass of wine you will have to do 3,000 situps to burn off the calories.  Oh, to hell with it.  Have two glasses of wine.  Why not three.  We never quite get around to losing the fat.  I propose we convert everything to the dreaded burpee, invented by Lt. Burpee in the Revoutionary War so soldiers could stay fit in the confines of the small tents in the winter.  The squat thrust, pushup and jump was "converted into the BURPEE and groans were heard around the world.  "I hate Burpees"!   "I hate Burpees"!   "I hate Burpees"!